Feeling Lucky! (part 4)

"Well, well, well...who is this stranger and what could she possibly want?" I was about to turn and start laughing when I heard Tish approach me, then I realised how serious she was. Her normal bright feature was replaced with a dull, somber disposition and it bothered me. What exactly had Diego said to her?
"Now I thought that maybe I had been left in the dark for a reason...but then I thought hmm... why would Ellie not tell me if I had done something wrong?" She stood directly in front of me with a tough exterior, I had always admired her strong will. 


"Tish...I'm sorry - I had meant to call...but..."


"But what...?"

"I don't know? It was a difficult situation..." I looked like a child who was being told off by the teacher for scribbling on the walls. Tish had that effect on people, who had wronged her. 


"Diego said that I was the one responsible for the argument you two had that night." 


"Tish you don't believe him do you?" 

"For a moment I didn't...thought I'd hear the truth from you. But when you never called or came over...I started to believe him." She looked reserved and calm, awaiting my reply. 


"Tish...'yes' we fought that night and 'yes' he did put the blame on you...but did you really think that I would blame you? My best friend who has always been there for me?" 


"Well than why did he call and say that you blamed me for pressuring you into going to that bar?" 


"Because he's an idiot who has got nothing else better to do than make other people's lives a misery..." I tried my hardest to make her see sense - see anything at all! To try and make her see reason, whatever Diego had said... he had done his best to make her turn against me. 

"Right - that explains everything doesn't it?"  She started pacing the area around us like a crazed bee, I knew I was going to get stung hard. 


"Look Tish, that night things got out of hand between me and Diego, yuh know one thing lead to another and he hit me..."

"Oh girl... I'm sorry - I didn't know..." She clutched me in her arms and held me there until I couldn't breathe, it was the longest hug we had ever had and I knew she was beating herself up over giving me a hard time. 


"Tish really... its fine now... okay?" 


"Girl, I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch if its the last thing I do!" 

"No Tish... you're not like Diego...I don't want you worrying okay?"


"What! You haven't even gone to police about it?" I looked a little confused.


"Tish why would I go to the police?" 


"I don't know? Get him charged with domestic abuse?" I couldn't believe she was being serious. 


"Tish it really wasn't like that...Yuh know? It was bound to happen sooner or later..."


"Girl - it shouldn't have happened at all!" Her frustration was obvious, and her pupils had grown in size showing all the anger that she was feeling. 

Me and Tish had known each other since High School. Tish with her amazing good looks, and a personality to match, she hated the popular girls - but I always associated her as being one. She was always in a crowd of people, people from the 'it' crowd and people who you never thought she would speak too. 
That was one quality I adored her for, she hated labelling and anything to do with stereotypes - to Tish she didn't care whether she was friends with geek's; cheerleader's, football players, emo's  as long as they were real. Real people in Tishes mind made for good friends and that was all that Tish wanted. With her Mom's job meaning they had to move states a lot, Tish never had the same group of friends. 

But with me...I was the 'awkward' girl. The girl who had a hard time being noticed let a lone having lots and lots of friends. But when I met Tish - she gave me a confidence I never even knew I had, and I was always grateful for that - though I never told her so.  


"So what have you been doing all this time? You're not gonna go back to him are you?" 


"No Tish! I broke up with a few days ago...what other choice did I have?" I was quite saddened that she thought I would go back to Diego and try and make things work...I could never forgive him for how he made me feel.


"Good! God - if you would have said you were...I don't know what I would have done man..." With that we started entering her house...her beautiful black siding house, with modern furnishings and enticing views of the whole plain. Of which I was incredibly jealous of!

When we made it inside I noticed something rather furry and dazzlingly soft, with big brown eyes - which resembled the features of a puppy, destroying Tishes brand new coffee table! I had no idea that Tish had even bought a puppy, and now it was in her house  completely destroying it...I laughed at the thought. 

"Oh no Lucky - No! Stop that! Bad boy, what have I told you about eating Mommy's black Glo- Li- La coffee table!" She charged up to him with fiery gestures and began reinforcing his naughty behaviour. 

"I read in a magazine its good to reinforce good behaviour when you're puppy's young because they learn more...Oh by the way...have you met Lucky?" I looked at her like trying not to laugh, but the way in which she introduced us was something quite out of the ordinary. 


"No, I don't believe I have - and I guess I wasn't the only one forgetting to call huh?" She gave me a nudge and I said my 'hello's', thinking the whole time how cute the little guy was. He was brown and black, with such an angelic face, how anyone couldn't love something as adorable as this I didn't know?

"When did you get him?" 


"About a week ago...I adopted him..." 


"Really!" I couldn't believe it. Tish adopting a puppy out of the blue like that really made me admire her even more.


"Yeah I was sat at home one day after getting back from work; sitting on the couch thinking how empty this place was. And I really wondered what it would be like if I had something that would liven the place up a bit...yuh know?" 


"Well no...but I guess I don't blame you're motives. He's so cute though!" I couldn't help myself - I had to try and pull the craziest of faces, like I was humouring a baby or something.


" Girl...you crazy!"  


"What! I love puppies! Especially this little guy...yes! Especially this little wonderful guy!" The squeak in my voice was worrying me, I hope I wouldn't turn out like one of those kid crazy parents! 


                                                                                                                                                                                           

"Well he seems to like you Ellie...wanna babysit every once in a while?" Her expression seemed desperate, but I couldn't tolerate a puppy and a store. 


"Ha! very funny...but no thanks." 


"Why not? Just think how much fun you two would have?" 


"Yeah and why would I want to steal you're thunder hmm?" 


"My thunder - is that what we're calling it these days?" 


"It's not got anything to do with Orlando has it?" 


"Yes! it has everything to do with that down right nasty player!" Orlando was the guy Tish had been dating for a couple of months - after sex - nothing else could satisfy him. Tish wanted things to go further - Orlando wanted 'to have his cake and eat it too'. 


"Tish...you knew what he was like before you started sleeping with him - I mean you knew he didn't want to be an item." I stopped messing about with Lucky and things grew serious. 


"Well Ellie you can't help who you fall in love with right?" 


"That's right...but you can't keep beating yourself up over it - I mean you have to draw the line somewhere." 

"Yeah I know - but like you said it doesn't matter. I mean it hardly comes close to what you've been through." 


"Look. Diego and me are old news - I want to be here for you now...okay?" I waited for her to continue, but she slumped back and gave me a crazy look. 


"You make it sound like being hit by you're boyfriend of three years is nothing." 


"No - but I've left him now so technically, there's nothing to discuss..." My stupid approach at lightening up the mood failed miserably and I knew Tish wasn't going to let it go. 

 "Girl...you're like a sister to me! You've always been there - and always made me see sense when I didn't even know I had any." 


"Tish..." 


"No! And when I think...that evil; dick head laid his hands on you - I just wanna go crazy!" I didn't know how heartfelt Tish was feeling, and her outburst made me just want to go to Diego and kill him myself. 


"Tish - please. What can we do about it now?" With that my phone started ringing, and I knew without hesitation - it was Diego. "Excuse me will yuh?" 


"Who is it?" 

"Hello?" I waited drastically for him to reply - but he took his time - like he thought I wouldn't know."


"Ellie...its me Diego."


"Diego I know who it is..."


I saw the scorn on Tishes face, and bit by bit her features started getting redder. "What!" 


"Who is that?"

"Diego what do you want?" 


"I wanted to talk to you - considering you wont answer my calls at home...or talk to me at the store. I figured I had to try and save our relationship!" Was he actually being serious? 


"DIEGO - when is it going to register? I'M NOT EVER GETTING BACK WITH YOU!" I couldn't believe the volume of my own voice - but I had, had enough. This was getting silly now...with most guys it clicked - but with Diego there had to be drama! 


"Wait...Ellie - why are you shouting at me?" 

"Maybe because you're driving me crazy with you're over extended nonsense! Stop making out as if its normal - as if I actually enjoy talking to you  - or bumping into you when I don't!" 


"What? You make it sound as if I wont leave you alone?" 


"Well how else does it sound Diego? Do you think I want to be friends with you? As if I want to put the past behind us and move back in with you - because I don't!" 


"Ell...don't be like this. Since that day in the store, I couldn't leave things sour between us - you are still my girlfriend, and always will be in my heart." I actually couldn't believe this! His ill humour was beginning to bore me. 

"WHAT! You're girlfriend? Diego - I am not you're girlfriend, and I regret the day I ever agreed to be you're girlfriend!"


"Don't say things like that Ell...you can't put me down for trying...maybe I thought there was something to save - after three years of being together..." 


"I'm sorry Diego there isn't. Like I said at 'Reno's'...you know when its over - and I know! So please...just get on with you're life and stop calling me." I ended the call, and hoped he wouldn't bother me again. I looked over at Lucky and he made all my anger disappear. I picked him up and held him close - what a cute little guy he really was! 

Keeping up appearances (Part 3)

The next morning all was calm. The trees were swaying softy with the wind; the birds were tweeting ever so beautifully, and I felt more relaxed and in tuned with nature than ever before. The burden of having to tell Diego how I felt was gone, and I had a new passion for life. 

 I could hear giggling and childish whispers coming in from the kitchen - a tell tale sign that Mom and Dad were awake, and trying not to be heard. 


"Mum...Dad...do you have to do that the minute I walk through the door?" 


"Do what?" Mum seemed a little bit embarrassed that I had heard them, and immediately began patting and grooming herself to keep up appearances. 

"Well you know what Ellie? it wouldn't hurt you to knock and warn us before you intrude... this is our house after all. If me and you're Mother want to show a little affection I don't see anything wrong with it - it's perfectly natural." The stern voice of my Dad reminded me.


"Yeah for newly weds, not senior citizens..." I bowed my head in shame at the comment, I hadn't meant for it to slip out. "No offence." 
I made my way over to the refrigerator to get some breakfast, a carton of juice was enough to keep hunger at bay at least until lunch. 

 With a light thud the refrigerator door was sealed shut and then I went over to the couch to enjoy my 'somewhat' tasty meal. 


"Is that all you're gonna eat honey?" My Mom's voice sounded worried as if there was a sudden change in how I normally ate breakfast.


"What do you mean? I've never been a big breakfast lover Mom." I sat on the couch with a huff; opened my straw, then pierced the container taking big gulps at a time. 

 "Diego called this morning to see how you were doing..." 


"What did you tell him Mom?" I was a little nervous I knew what my Mom was like, when she got started she couldn't stop. 


"Well what was I suppose to tell him? when you haven't told us anything at all?" She looked a little annoyed Mom never liked secrets. 
She started making coffee from the machine, and the strong aroma began clenching to my nostrils, prompting me to have a cup. 


"Mom could you make me one please? 


"Sure honey - but only if you tell me what's been going on with you and Diego..."

"Mom...nothing has been going on." I was a little weary on how she'd react if I told her about the fight, Mom hated violence. 


"Well then why have you stayed with us so long? And why won't you go back to him? if there's nothing going on...I mean I'm one for keeping up appearances, but if there was something wrong and it was upsetting me, I would tell somebody - I just don't understand you two..." Before she could continue I blurted out what she wanted to hear - the truth. 


"He hit me! All right... that's why I came to stay that night, and yesterday I met him and ended it with him okay? 

"Honey... why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have helped you through this so you wouldn't have had to do it alone like you have been doing all this time - I feel awful." Her expression changed to a sad, defeated woman who had failed her daughter - had she only known... had she only known. 


"We got into a fight, another one of his paranoid episodes...Me and Tish went to that bar on Glendale; just to have a few drinks - check it out, see what all the fuss was about. When she dropped me off, I had just walked through the door, when he started accusing me of hitting on other guys."
"I told him it wasn't true - but he wasn't having none of it, he was sure of himself. As if I'd go and cheat on him with the first guy I'd see... Things got out of hand, I got angry - said some stuff, and he slapped me." 

The dynamics in the room changed instantaneously, and you could hear a pin drop. From light hearted conversation, to shoulder tensing silence. I waited for anybody, to talk - say anything! 
But with the sudden opening of the bathroom door, Dad appeared placing one foot in front of the other hesitantly, as if feeling the tension. 


A surge of emotion began penetrating my heart - I didn't want to cry! I wouldn't let Diego hurt me again. Then anger took over, rising from the fiery depths of my gut begging to come out, I thought for a minute I'd explode. I hated Diego! I hated him! 
I looked desperately at the two people who gave me life, dying to find out what they were thinking... 

"Mom...Dad... please speak." 


Mom broke from her long pause and turned to face Dad as if searching for the answer from him, but when he didn't speak she knew she'd have to do it alone. 
"Did you hear that Eric?"


"I heard it all through the door - not that I was eavesdropping, but I thought I could hear raised voices..." I could see that he was upset; and angry, and wanted to go stomping over to Diego and give him a good pounding. 
Then all of a sudden a strength took hold of him, and energy came back into his eyes. 

"Look you guys, I've moved passed it now - and you should too. There's not point crying over spilled milk, I'm fine now and its over with me and Diego." 
"Anyway I should go and get ready for work - who knows what them two are up to?" 


"What so you don't walk to talk about it? About the fact you kept it a secret all this time?" Mom looked at me with tear filled eyes, this is why I didn't want her finding out. 


"Mom please don't think I wanted to - I just knew how you'd react and I wanted to save all the drama..."

"Drama...Don't I have a right to be angry when I find out that no good slob hit my daughter?" Her wrinkles grew tighter as her face turned angrier, and her lips folded downwards to portray how she was feeling. 


"We'll discuss it when I get home from work... I have a delivery coming in today so I have to make sure I'm there to stock it." 


"Can't you get the workers to take care of it?" 


"No Dad - that wouldn't be fair and you know it!" I gave him a smile to ease his frustration and walked over to Mom holding out my arms for a hug. She smelt of wild flowers; sweet like roses, with a hint of Jasmine. Her favourite body wash. 

With a long embrace, she released her grip and I left the kitchen. I was glad that they knew, I didn't feel as guilty about keeping it from them as I did before. I headed up stairs into the bedroom I had grown up in, changed my clothes; then left the house and straight for work. 
                                                      ................

Arriving at the store an hour earlier I discovered that Shannon and Oriole were no where to be seen, the delivery couldn't have got here that early? I placed my key in the lock and then opened the door. There was a light chime as the door opened and I could see that the store was empty.

Where was Shannon? she always got here before opening time...and Oriole...well I never expected any different. She had never been punctual, I'm sure she didn't even know the meaning of the word - when looking at her references the day I'd hired, they all said the same thing:
"Lack of professionalism" and a "lack of punctuality". Not a good start in the world of work for Oriole, but I never thought she took pride in her terrible resume. But then I could hear the door chime again, and loud boots making they're way towards me, I turned to see who it was? The store was closed, everyone knew it never opened before ten o'clock. So who was it?

"Hey!" It was Diego! What was he doing here? 


"Diego?" I was confused and lost for words...was he doing this on purpose? First the call to 'see how I was doing' and then this! I was so annoyed, why wouldn't he just get over it? 


"Yeah just stopping by, had some free time so I thought I would see how you were doing?" He made it sound like there was nothing wrong, like I was happy to see him or something? 
"I called you this morning too but you're Mom said you were still asleep - so I thought I'd come by the store. I hope you don't mind, I knew you wouldn't." 

"Well actually Diego 'yeah' I do mind. I told you it was over and I meant it - this is where I work, I can't have you here stirring stuff up." 


"What do you mean Ell? I'm not here to 'stir stuff up' at all! I wanted to see how you are - what, just because we've broken up we can't see each other any more?" It was awkward for sure, he just kept staring at me as if I wasn't making any sense. 


"No I don't mean we can't see each other any more, I just mean I can't have you calling me continuously and dropping by whenever you feel like it -its not healthy Diego, and you're not moving on because of it." 

"Are you being serious! Ellie I can't just stop loving you because you say I have too! And I can't just 'move on' because you want me to! Has our relationship meant nothing to you at all?" 


"Of course it has Diego but that was then, and this is now - and I don't want you to wallow in it for the rest of you're life."  I couldn't believe how angry he was getting, his eyes bulged out of they're sockets and it looked like they were turning red. 

"Please! Don't try and sound like you care Ellie. The truth is you never have! All I was to you was someone you could play, someone you could make a joke out of. You and Tish..."


"Leave Tish out of this!"


"Leave her out of this? She was the one who put thoughts into you're head, trying to get you to break up with me! This is as much her fault then it is you're's."  

"Please just leave Diego! Shannon is going to be here any minute and I don't want her hearing this - okay?" 


"What are you afraid she's gonna find out?" His mockery was the last thing I needed right now. 


"Diego...I think its best you stop coming by my store in the future. The last thing I need are my customers hearing us two fighting..."

 "Right. Once again its on you're terms...right Ellie?" I wouldn't look at him. 


"Just leave." 

"Fine...but I was trying to resolve this the nice way Ellie...just remember that."  He turned his back on me and finally left the store. 
My blood was racing underneath my skin, and I could hear my heart beating, one loud thud at a time. Never had I met anyone so stubborn, and self obsessed than him! Why couldn't he understand that over meant over! 
I couldn't deal with his melodramatics today, and already he'd managed to push me over the edge. The way he blamed Tish like it was her fault, made me even more furious. He never could take responsibility for his actions, and admit that I didn't leave him because of Tish - I left him because of his problems. His controlling ways, and his manipulative manner. The way he made me feel day in and day out, like a little kid who was so naive and vulnerable - like a little lost lamb all on my own. But then I heard light tones of Shannon's voice calling my name, and it snapped me back to reality. 

"Ellie! Are you here?" 


"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute!" I checked out my appearance in the mirror to make sure I didn't look like a raging bull and braced my self. 
"Hi Shannon." 


"Hi Ellie, you're here early this morning... is something up?" She looked quizzical, with soft eyes gazing into mine. 


"Yeah I thought I'd get here earlier this morning - especially with the delivery coming today, and everything..."

I waited for her reply, and look of approval. I knew she could tell something was up...that she had either missed the fire works or something was about to happen. 


"I saw Diego leave...does it have something to do with him?" 


"Oh that! No... he was just dropping by - you know what he's like..." 


"Ellie...I know we haven't known each other very long, but I care about you a lot. If there's something I can do to help - be it a shoulder for you to cry on, I'm here for you...you know that right...?" 


"Thank you Shannon... but believe me I'm fine! Everything is fine! It's a beautiful day... and I wouldn't want to ruin it with talks about Diego." I gave her a smile and walked out back to wait for the truck. I never thought I would have so much support - people actually wanting to be there for me. Who knew something had changed without me having to tell them. I took a moment to reflect on the situation - on me and Diego - and everything in between. Life could only get better from now on...I was determined to move on whether Diego held me back or not. He couldn't spoil today for me, not even if he tried! With the beautiful trees rustling in the wind, and the harmonious cries from the birds above - nothing could ruin my day... Nothing.